Sunday night. i finally turned the t.v. off. selfpity. im 17 and home, all the time. im in a relationship, i have been for 3 years and 4 months. he is good to me. emmanuel is 21. and well he is a guy. he is into music. he will be a big music producer soon. i love to hang out with him. he is my best friend when he can be. if im not with him im alone. i distanced myself from friends. i dont hang out. i go out, but just with him. because i choose to. i miss friends but i dont feel like regainig. i refuse to live in the moment, but at times i know i do. i hate in living in the high school moment. i tried parties. tried friends. tried drama. i got over most of it. i push things. i get him mad plenty. i have no one to talk to so i write when in mad. sad. sad. bored. today all of the above.